You lay in your bed for 12 hours because reality hurts, you try to avoid it like it is hell, and real life is hell, we both know that. “The world ain’t no sunshine and rainbows, it will beat you to your knees permanently if you let it.” -Rocky
You can not eat, not even your favorite pizza tastes good anymore, you eat 1 slice and feel like throwing up, that is exactly how it feels to be at rock bottom, to be in the last stage of depression.
You can not take care of yourself, you have no control, you can not take responsibility for your life or anything.
At some point (usually when things have gone to absolute shit that you realize that you are losing more than you thought possible) you could lose your job, your girlfriend/wife, your house, your pet, your belongings, friends, family, aka everything that you hold close to your heart because you are destroyed could be gone & more.
Fighting or Dying?
The next event will be the following: Fighting or dying. Some people need death experiences to wake up, this is perfectly explained in the movie “saw”, where the captor is forcing the hostages to mutilate themselves to survive, afterwards, they are thankful for that experience.
There are also many who survived death in real life, most are absolutely happy to live and they want to make the most out of it.
The most famous person that comes to my mind now is 50 Cent, shot 9 times, became absolutely fearless and wrote diss tracks on the beats of his opponents (which are protected).
He became rich, but don’t get the wrong ideas now. But it’s almost the same what I will tell you here. So what you can you do when you can not get out of bed because life sucks and you would rather die?
My controversial & outrageous advice is this: Stay in bed till you lose it all.
Yes, you have read that right. In my experience, some people need to fall flat on their face to wake up. Some are always rescued before shit happens, because of that they can not transform into their new selves, into their strong & violent self.
Don’t get up, stay in bed as long as possible, hate your life, don’t let anyone help you, till you lose something you love. That will be your wake-up call. My wake up call was when I stood at the bridge, wanting to jump, but I was, to be honest, just scared. Why was I scared?
Because of death, everything would be over, no chance to have a great life (which is absolutely possible to have when you improve it.)
In that moment, my ex-girlfriend which cheated on me (which was my reason to feel rock bottom 3 years ago) didn’t really matter anymore, sure I still thought of her, but my focus slowly shifted towards me, which was important.
What Will be Your Wakeup Call?
What will be your wake-up call? Losing your apartment? Your Girlfriend or Wife? Maybe even your dog?…
Who knows, but I know that you have to lose something till you realize what you are doing there, explanations won’t help here as life is just a big piece of shit for you.
Life is unfair, life is a bitch, life is hell on earth. Nature did not make people equal or animals, that is just a social construct. Survival of the fittest is real my friend, do you want to prove Darwin’s theory? Hell no you don’t. And even if you, trust me before you die, you will realize what you are leaving behind you, and it will hurt you more than the pain you will experience before you die.
Life is a gift, you were a random event in this universe, that you can experience life is worth more than anything else. You can gain 20kg of muscle in 3 years, in 3 years you can quit your job and live from your online business (that took me 1 1/2 years), you can have a girlfriend or get children, you can get your drivers license, hell, you can even get naked and run outside and get arrested, if you wish to do that.
And don’t tell me you have no dreams, I had dreams when I was at rock bottom, I wanted another girlfriend to not be alone, and to get revenge by success, these were my motivators after I didn’t jump from the bridge.
You can easily become an author like us and talk about your depression and help people. There is so much bullshit out there, the health industry abuses people, therapists don’t know what depression really is because they studied their whole life in a rich & safe environment.
You can change the world online, you can sign up at your local animal shelter and play with the cats there or walk the dogs, that would give you a sense of purpose and you would help others in need.
Sometimes helping others is a good way to lessen the pain, however, it does not fix the root cause of your depression.
The Top 7 Causes for Depression According to my Clients
Here are the top 7 root causes for depression (according to the problems of my clients & studies).
- They have no purpose.
- They need sex to feel like they are worth something.
- They get treated like shit.
- They need someone else to feel happy.
- Somebody they loved died.
- Therapists & SSRI’s don’t help them (hopelessness).
- They realize that women have more rights & that they are unfairly treated by the legal system & society.
This list is ordered by the occurrence of these problems. I help a lot of people, but as I said, sometimes there is one exception, that person that can not be helped by anyone.
The problem is, they always get help from everyone, they need to lose it, they need reality shoved in their face because they don’t realize what they still have.
People nowadays are sheltered and entitled, especially women, they get depression even tho they have an apartment, food, access to water 24/7, a family and the internet. Despite that, our society is also pretty safe.
Compare that with smiling kids in Africa, yes, they barely have food, no water, they live in mud huts and there is a war raging around them, yet they don’t cry or lay around because life sucks. How do I know that? Third world people on twitter tell me that. They are usually very pissed because western people are “pussies” and because we rage wars in their countries.
Nobody can help a person that does not want to be helped but is helped by people every time, they don’t realize what is at stake, they have to fall into the wolf pit which is called reality, no more sheltering, no more helping, nothing.
It’s like showing a liberal that Sweden is the rape capital of Europe, they will just ignore it, they need to see it with their own eyes.
And when that person realizes what he lost, then it is time to work, some people get back to their old lives, which is a brutal mistake because it will end in the same way, it’s like repeating a mistake over and over again – the definition of insanity.
Enter the 7 Essentials
What they need to know are the 7 essentials which I will briefly describe (only for people who really want to get rid of their depression & want to experience the greatness of life itself.
Purpose is waking up in the morning knowing what you have to do, and you will do it with pleasure, because you do that for yourself, and you will grow through it and help others at the same time.
“If you want to be something, you have to work hard”. WRONG, this here is correct: “If you want to be something, work hard, FOR YOURSELF”.
I don’t really see famous, rich and happy people that work hard for someone else, they are usually miserable as they work for someone else 24/7.
This video describes it perfectly, that guy is the CEO (not the founder) and is absolutely pissed of by his jobs.
Having fun is important because you can not grind 14 hours every day without having fun. Sure, a purpose is fun too, but believe me, even if you love your job, you need easy and relaxing entertainment to calm down and vent.
For some people that is kickboxing, for others lifting weights, for others, it is playing counter strike and for others, it is watching Netflix. No judgment, do whatever the hell you like to unwind after a nice day of working for yourself.
To understand yourself, you will have to understand the world. The more you know about our unfair world, the better you will be able to maneuver in it.
Why that helps you with depression? Because you will get what you want much easier, you will easily dodge problems and direct them into your favor, and much more.
Depression is a weakness, yes, most probably disagree now as they think that it is a weakness, no it’s not. I know that must feel like a slap in the face now, but taking responsibility for my life and building a warrior body & spirit helped me a lot to fight back against people that bullied me at that time (in my job + government).
You will have to take control back of your life, the more control you have, the better it is, living alone, for example, will make you extremely self-reliant.
Why is that useful? You will stop with the victim attitude and learn discipline and responsibility, you will take back control and therefore you will be able to chase your dreams without relying on somebody else.
Sidenote: This means power in relationships, the one who can walk away has more power. There is always a dominant part & and a submissive part in the relationship, there are no dominant & dominant or & submissive & submissive relationships, they never work out.
Improve yourself every day, whatever it is. Also, learn to stop being negative, always reframe it into something positive. Example: “My mother died, I didn’t even say goodbye” to “my mother lived a good life, I am happy that it ended this way”.
This will be very hard to do depending on the situation, but it is absolutely possible & helpful.
Also, learn discipline, a man has no chance if others work 100% and the man himself only gives 50%. Show the world your work ethic and they will pay you respect & want to work with you.
You will have to repeat everything of the 7 essentials, every day. That is the solution to cure depression in a nutshell.
“What Should I do Now?”
If you are a person that can not be helped by anybody, then I absolutely recommend that you don’t let anybody help you and just go on with your life like you are doing right now.
The following will happen if you do it: You will take responsibility, or you will simply end at rock bottom. Don’t visit your therapist anymore, don’t take SSRI medication and don’t let your family & friends help you anymore. If you do it, you are just prolonging the inevitable, but it will still happen.
Happy resting in your bed, and please don’t book my coaching, you would be wasting my time, the only thing that can help you is the reality, which will shove it’s fist into your face very soon.
Sad but true, sweet lies won’t get you further in life, and it’s not all rainbows, and there are not always happy ends, we are not in Disneyland. You need to lose, you are sheltered, and you don’t value life anymore, let life help you to value it again.
PS: Book my coaching if you want me to help you get out of depression (but only if you really want it!).
About the Post Author
Philip Braselmann was born 1990 in Germany and suffered from depression for 12 years after being diagnosed with essential tremor. He slowly learned to cope with it and went the normal route that every man walks. After his girlfriend cheated he was depressed again and decided that he is going to live a good life. It took Philip another year to realize that masculinity was the answer to getting rid of his depression. He loves Modafinil, working out and building his Business.